Captain America Died Valiantly, But Was Killed by a Coward.

Best... Superhero... Death... Ever.

..."Captain America is dead and buried in the latest issue of Marvel Comics, due on newsstands the morning after Independence Day. After 66 years of battling villains from Adolf Hitler to the Red Skull, the red, white and blue leader of the Avengers was felled by an assassin's bullet on the steps of a New York federal courthouse.

He was headed to court after refusing to sign the government's Superhero Registration Act, a move that would have revealed his true identity. A sniper who fired from a rooftop was captured as police and Captain America's military escort were left to cope with chaos in the streets.

But the sniper didn't act alone, and didn't even fire the shot that killed the captain."

(Excerpt from the AP via Yahoo.)

Could Happen...

Ya know, once, just once, I'd like to see a media representative of an elected official answer with the truth.
"Is the vice-presidents office part of the Executive Branch of government?"
"Well of course it fucking is. He's the Vice-Executive. If my boss is trying to claim he has developed some supernatural, super-constitutional powers, then he is clearly insane and I would have no further desire to work for this god damned whack-job."

Ad Sense

Their voice robot has a speech impediment and a slight Japanese accent.

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch this. That is all.

Just a note, when you are out of beer and money, Makers Mark and Invisible Raspberry Kool-Aid is a poor substitute.

Flowers for Algernon

I loved this book as a kid! (Also loved: One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Sarah T, Portrait of a Teenage Alchoholic, The Martian Chronicles and A Wrinkle in Time.)
Scientists Successfuly Reverse Mental Retardation in Mice

Crowd Control

The Belfast Telegraph talks about the elephants in the room. Us.

"a rational view would be that along with a raft of measures to reduce the footprint per person, the issue of population management must be addressed.
"In practice, of course, it is a bombshell of a topic, with profound and emotive issues of ethics, morality, equity and practicability. So controversial is the subject, that it has become the Cinderella of the great sustainability debate - rarely visible in public, or even in private. In interdisciplinary meetings addressing how the planet functions as an integrated whole, demographers and population specialists are usually notable by their absence."

I'm of the mindset that the problem is what could be called a "self-correcting" one. Unbalanced populations of any species tend to die in large numbers and quickly, when the food runs out. Too bad for the planet we're omnivores.

HA!

"Liz Claiborne unveils new Flat Line"
From some demented comic genius at FARK.
Love those sickos.

New Low for The Court

In a not-so-surprising move, SCOTUS disembowels the Constitution.
Again.
In a perfect storm of insanely ignorant ineptitude, they somehow simultaneously took away a child's right to hold a banner with words on it, yet gave religious terrorists the right to say whatever the fuck they want, anywhere.
To Scalia: "Welcome sir, you look fantastic!!!!!"
(To quote Stephen Colbert, at 13:30 in this video, complete with gestures.)

Allahu Akbar

If you are one of the few, um.... "stupid fucking wastes of flesh" that still support this evil, insane, unjust war of oppression, this links for you. Funny how the kids on the other side are wearing black pajamas, again. Don't forget to click the little arrows at the top left...

Yay

This game is sooooooooo fun, play God and create your own Solar system! Click and drag to launch planets, or use the gravity well of the primary blue planet. I suggest clicking frequently and randomly in a large circle for a true appreciation of how an accretion disc becomes a solar system. Try at high speed, too!

George

Ok, I been listening to a lot of country; as my lying, fake-ass loser heart is broken again... but I gotta admit this song list attributed to George is one of the most appropriate and longest I've ever seen, as Luther Wright and the Wrongs say, "Would ya like to hear George and Tammy sing... again... my friend?"

Johnny Cash

Well I've come here to tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
I'm a tramp and a gambler I stay out late at night
But a porterhouse steak steak three times a day for my board
That's more than any loafer in this old town can afford
Well I got big electric fan to keep me cool while I sleep
A little baby boy playin' rounds at my feet
I'm a rambler and a gambler and I've lead a dirty life
Well I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
Well then I got married I knew I'd settle down
And I built a little love nest right here in my hometown
Now I've got a family one that I'm proud of
I know that I'll be happy cause they're the ones I love
Well I got big electric fan...
I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
I'm a rambler and a gambler I've led a dirty life
Well I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right

Thousand Dollar Wedding

It was a $1000 wedding supposed to be held the other day and
With all the invitations sent
The young bride went away
When the groom saw people passing notes
Not unusual, he might say
But where are the flowers for my baby
I'd even like to see her mean old mama
And why ain't there a funeral, if you're gonna act that way
I hate to tell you how he acted when the news arrived
He took some friends out drinking and
it's lucky they survived
Well, he told them everything there was to
tell there along the way
And he felt so bad when he saw the traces
of old lies still on their faces
So why don't someone here just spike his drink
Why don't you do him in some old way
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day
The Reverend Doctor William James
Was talking to the crowd
All about the sweet child's holy face and
The saints who sung out loud
And he swore the fiercest beasts
could all be put to sleep the same silly way
And where are the flowers for the girl
She only knew she loved the world
And why ain't there one lonely horn and one sad note to play
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day

-From Gram Parsons "Grievous Angel"
Wait And See Music(BMI)
Warner Brothers Records

Damn interesting story; not just 'cause I'm finally reading The Poisonwood Bible, either.
This sounds like the best language ever.

Drunky? or Junky?
1. William S. Burroughs
2. Charles Bukowski
3. Robert Downey Jr.
4. Dylan Thomas
5. F. Scott Fitzgerald
6. Winston Churchill
7. Ulysses S. Grant
8. Frances Farmer
9. Charlie Parker
10. Lord Byron
To list just a few of my heroes and a heroine.

Good Band

So I met this nice kid Riley through "activities" on Craigslist. He's a good paddler, laid back, like they tend to grow 'em 'round here. We had a sunny outing at Point Whitehorn, complete with a harbor seal on a rock and kelp forests and a pitcher of Mac n Jack's after. Most importantly, he turned me on to this great local band Spoonshine, with a very talented mandolin player. They were playing in B-ham last night, but I had to sleep. Hope to see 'em soon though, their website is here, with some downloadable tracks at a rather low bitrate. Using the EQ in WindowsPlayer helps. My fave is the rather long (at 9:50) "Go Hide the Bottle."

The Five Biggest Pricks in Congress

This is just golden, the author is like a PG RudePundit. From Cracked.com (who knew?)

"A Gallup poll last month put Congress' approval rating at 29 percent, which ties it with the President and puts both exactly two points behind AIDS in terms of popularity. This raises the question: Why does America loathe its elected officials so much?

Forgetting that whole “war” thing for a minute, you could make the argument that it's because most members of Congress are arrogant pricks who would rather toss Rosie O'Donnell's salad after a summer hike than do anything remotely kind, thoughtful or constructive for America. Cracked.com has singled out five of the most stubborn, abrasive, inconsiderate pricks on Capitol Hill that you should be keeping your eye on:" -LINK-

Global Warming Spelled Out 4 U

http://view.break.com/311805 - Watch more free videos

The Stupidity of Corporations and Their Lackeys

From Patricia E. Kafalas Dudek (GREAT name, but nothing compared to the whole name of her firm, Hafeli, Staran, Hallahan, Christ, & Dudek, PC) via Elder Law Answers:

A leading nationwide bank charged its annual service charge to an account just after the account holder, an elderly woman, had died. When the bill was not paid, the bank added late-payment fees and interest charges that increased the bill by $60 in three months.

The following exchange ensued between the deceased woman's great-nephew and the bank:

Nephew: “I am calling to tell you [my great-aunt] died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”

Bank: "Since it is two months past-due, it already has been.”

Nephew: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Nephew: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Excuse me?”

Nephew: “Did you just get what I was telling you -- the part about her being dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Nephew: “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”

Supervisor: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Supervisor: “[stammer] Are you her lawyer?”

Nephew: “No, I’m her great-nephew.” (Lawyer information is given)

Supervisor: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Nephew: “Sure.” (Fax number is given)

After the bank gets the fax:

Supervisor: “Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

Nephew: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”

Supervisor: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Nephew: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Supervisor: “That might help.”

Nephew: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Supervisor: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Nephew: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”

This May Actually Turn You Gay

The second most gayest video ever. For any youngsters out there, that's Rock Hudson and Bea Aurthur, singing about... love of drugs. Lots of drugs.

BTW, Here's the first most gayest video ever.

Jacob Holdt

One of my all-time favorite "Americans", (believe you-me he earned it) a Danish- Christian- hippy-tourist... so many reasons to kill, I know, but he's sooooo lovable.

"That I survived I owe to my stubborn belief in these words by Jose Marti:

'You must have faith in the best in people and distrust the worst.
If not, the worst will prevail.'"

Stolen from RudePundit

Photo Summary of Republican "Debate".

OMG

Best...headline...EVAR

Stupid Worthless Bitch

As my dawg Obama sez... "What does she DO?"
Oil up the guillotine, Marie Antoinette's neck is lookin' ready.

This great list stolen from EvilBible.com, apparently some sort of kindergarten-level one-topic primer for the newly anti-theist. Some great stuff, though.

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

He almost has the cadence of a preacher, but too much Jesse Jackson and not enough Al Sharpton in this delivery.
Keep practicing, Obama and listen to some Snoop Dogg to get a taste of smooth delivery. But damn, it's good to know this youngun can hit back.
Fuck Romney, fuck McCain and doublefuck all Republican voters.
Praise Darwin.
Obama in '08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Schroedinger's LOLCat

Only a few will get this one.