The Stupidity of Corporations and Their Lackeys

From Patricia E. Kafalas Dudek (GREAT name, but nothing compared to the whole name of her firm, Hafeli, Staran, Hallahan, Christ, & Dudek, PC) via Elder Law Answers:

A leading nationwide bank charged its annual service charge to an account just after the account holder, an elderly woman, had died. When the bill was not paid, the bank added late-payment fees and interest charges that increased the bill by $60 in three months.

The following exchange ensued between the deceased woman's great-nephew and the bank:

Nephew: “I am calling to tell you [my great-aunt] died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”

Bank: "Since it is two months past-due, it already has been.”

Nephew: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Nephew: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Excuse me?”

Nephew: “Did you just get what I was telling you -- the part about her being dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Nephew: “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”

Supervisor: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Supervisor: “[stammer] Are you her lawyer?”

Nephew: “No, I’m her great-nephew.” (Lawyer information is given)

Supervisor: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Nephew: “Sure.” (Fax number is given)

After the bank gets the fax:

Supervisor: “Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

Nephew: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”

Supervisor: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Nephew: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Supervisor: “That might help.”

Nephew: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Supervisor: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Nephew: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”