Signs Your Country Might be Going Fascist

Pope Declares War on Make-believe Deity

Pope declares war on Satanism and the Godless.
In the words of my political hero, George W. Bush, "Bring it ON!"
I have a suggestion for the Exorcism Dream Team's first assignment...





ps: "I find your lack of faith disturbing..."

Bacon

Clicky piccy makey biggie.

It's official, I'm a conservative...

Here's the article (CLICK HERE)

I'm very sad.

Dan Fogelberg is dead. My dad and I used to listen to his 8-track tapes in the Vega and sing along as I learned how to drive in the Wisconsin countryside. I'm crying about another dead celeb, I know, but gawddamn, he was a good one.
This one's for you dad, I love you, keep staring at your slippers 'til they wheel you out for another smoke.

StupidFilter

Oh, Hell YES! We need one of these for real life, too.
StupidFilter

still laughing as I post this....

best "Toothpaste for Dinner" yet.

me favorite carol

Californ-aye-ay!

I just LOOOVE David Cross

Today's Pearls Before Swine

Damn, I loves dis guy and the Zeebas.
(clicky piccy makey biggie.)

me in a nutshell

If I only had a nickel for every time I heard this in my life...
"you dick! But you are right."
From my good friend James...
Diplomacy, tact and grace evade me yet.
When will I learn, the truth isn't all that funny to other people, even though it makes me shake with giggling?
I recently learned of Lucretius, for whom I am guessing Lucrezia Borgia must have been named.
Strangely inappropriate, yet compelling in an Italian way.
He predated the alleged Jesus Christ by fifty or so years, yet seemed to have a comprehensive understanding of quantum physics.
He tends to be lumped with the Stoics, (FTFA, "The ancient Stoics are often misunderstood because the terms they used pertained to different concepts in the past than they do today. The word stoic has come to mean unemotional or indifferent to pain, because Stoic ethics taught freedom from passion by following reason. But the Stoics did not seek to extinguish emotions, only to avoid emotional troubles by developing clear judgment and inner calm through diligent practice of logic, reflection, and concentration.")
His poem, On the Nature of the Universe (Things) is FUCKING AWE-INSPIRING.
CHECK IT OUT!
Full text translation here.
My favorite bit has got to be this excerpt:

I have shown how atoms are the beginnings of all things, how they differ because of their diverse shapes, how of their own accord they fly through space, impelled by everlasting motion, and how each individual thing can be created out of them. Next, I must turn to the nature of the mind and the soul, and drive away the archaic fear of a world beyond the grave. This fear can utterly confound the life of man to its very root, clouding all things with the blackness of death, and leaving no pleasure pure and unalloyed.

True, men often declare that disease and a life of disgrace are more to be feared than the pit of death. And they may say that they know the soul is made of blood—or else of wind, if by chance their whim so wills it—and therefore that they have no need at all of our philosophy. Yet, you may be sure that this is nothing but idle boasting to win praise, and not their true belief. These same men, exiled from their country and banished far from the sight of their countrymen, stained with some foul crime, beset with disease heralding approaching death, keep going all the same. To whatever situation they come in their misery, in spite all their talk, they sacrifice to the dead, slaughter black cattle, and lay out offerings to the gods of the dead. In their bitter plight, they far more keenly turn their hearts to religion.

That is why it is more fitting to judge the quality of a man when he is in doubt and danger, and to observe his manner in adversity; for then at last an honest cry is wrung from the bottom of his heart: the mask is torn off, and the truth stands exposed.

Guilty Pleasure

Like we didn't see this coming

Chickens ... home ... roost

Old by web standards

Still a classic, this makes me feel so... everything.

Rest Assured

Wish that I could attribute this one to it's creator...

good list

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Jah called Lucky home...

Very sad day, Lucky Dube is dead, shot by carjackers. Here is a very ironic video.

Military Side Effects

Hell YES!!!!!

Noodly appendage

http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_nt2.php?score

Just some reminders that my life is dull

young republicans GIS

Second from left, the next Senator Craig?

hmmmmmmm

I REALLLY like this picture, there's just the right amount of everything or something.
Funny, cute, weird, disturbing, sad, tired, (is the shark done with the toys? His arms hang so limply...)- all at once- evocative of life itself? Dunno. Just realllly like it. Found in the Fark comments thread, from this guy's photobucket.

Risotto

This has GOT to be the BEST photo of 2007 politics, evar.

BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI / GETTY IMAGES

Click on image for Seattle Times story.

The War Tapes

Cider press from the 1800's
My front yard
Alaskan IPA makes you HAAAAMMMERED.....

PICS!

Got a camera, thanx, Baby!
Long in the tooth rooster, very wise to me and my shoes.

New acquisition for John and Linda...
State Park, Birch Bay, 7:20 last night.
John in the Picnic Shelter/Greenhouse.

wow.

Eh?

A big shout-out to all my Canuckistani friends, have I mentioned lately how much I love your country? Maybe someday we will be as free as you are, or I will be in one of your Democrat refugee camps...

Why do I keep picturing Strom Thurmond carousing in the back of a roadhouse? Yes, it is a horrible mental image. I used to live in Mpls, been in that bathroom many times. No... not for that...
Quote of the day, “You’re not being truthful with me. I’m kind of disappointed in you, senator,” sez the pig. One of the hypocritical-power-mad hoisted by their very own brand of sanctioned-finkery-petard.
No quarter.

Sam on Dave

Lord, how we miss him.

This trucker took a ten pound bowling ball to the face at seventy miles per hour, yet feels nothing but compassion and pity for his brain-dead attacker.

Pirata

So I dressed as a pirate for my second wedding performance ever. The young couple understood that I didn't really believe in marriage, since not everyone is allowed to do it and I was a complete atheist, they said that's exactly what they wanted. We decided that having me dress up as the Reverend Jim Jones would be just too dark, that only people my age would appreciate the humor. I suggested dressing as a buccaneer, since that is the preferred attire for the clergy in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, they were all for it.
I rented a costume from the inimitable LaRue Costume Rental and said the words they wanted me to say, Dr. Suess style. First time I ever made a c-note-plus for ten minutes of work.
Judging by the accolades, my improvised brandishing of the pistol while asking if there were objections was the real crowd pleaser. I'm personally rather nonplussed by the whole spectacle, but several young and old Canadian hippies think I should profit from my politically religious humor. Hmmmm... sounds kinda fun. After all, I am The First High Potentate of The Unholy Church of The Godless Sinner.

Priceless

Bob Mould

Bob Mould on The Henry Rollins Show, I used to go see Husker Du every time they played 1st Ave, saw Henry many times at Seventh Street Entry. Who knew their carrers would go where they are now? Fucking incredible song.

The Big Lebowski, short version. (Funny as Fuck!)

Good one.

Best cover of Louis Armstrong's "Wonderful World" ever caught on video, featuring a very young Nick Cave and Shane McGowan.

Always click on the blue text, it's never dull.

Shane McGowan, infamous frontman for the Pougues, sings "Irish Rover on the Henry Rollins Show. This man is one fucked up individual, but sings like no one else alive.
Check his interview too...

31st floor

uhoh

At closing time today. 1US$=1.0431 Canadian. Gonna be a long month of very slow drivers 'round here.

Pure Gold, "Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was Younger", by Adrian Savage

* Most of it doesn’t matter. So much of what I got excited about, anxious about, or wasted my time and energy on, turned out not to matter. There are only a few things that truly count for a happy life. I wish I had known to concentrate on those and ignore the rest.

* The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts. Look at all the terrorists and militant groups that hark back to some event long gone, or base their justification for killing on claims of some supposed historical right to a bit of land, or redress for a wrong done hundreds of years ago.

* Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever. One of the greatest advantages anyone can have is the willingness to make a fool of themselves publicly and often. There’s no better way to learn and develop. Heck, it’s fun too.

* Following the latest fashion, in work or in life, is spiritual and intellectual suicide. You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual. The choice is yours. Religion isn’t the opiate of the masses, fashion is.

* If people complain that you’re too fond of going your own way and aren’t fitting in, you must be on the right track. Who wants to live life as a herd animal? The guys in power don’t want you to fit in for your own sake; they want you to stop causing them problems and follow their orders. You can’t have the freedom to be yourself and meekly fit in at the same time.

* If you make your work your life, you’re making your life into hard work. Like most people, I confused myself by looking at people like artists and musicians whose life’s “work” fills their time. That isn’t work. It’s who they are. Unless you have some overwhelming passion that also happens to allow you to earn a living doing it, always remember that work should be a means to an end: living an enjoyable life. Spend as little time on the means as possible consistent with achieving the end. Only idiots live to work.

* The quickest and simplest way to wreck any relationship is to listen to gossip. The worst way to spend your time is spreading more. People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison.

* Trying to please other people is largely a futile activity. Everyone will be mad at you sometime. Most of the people you deal with will dislike, disparage, belittle, or ignore what you say or do most of the time. Besides, you can never really know what others do want, so a good deal of whatever you do in that regard will go to waste. Be comforted. Those who love you will probably love you regardless, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about. The rest aren’t worth five minutes of thought between them.

* Every winner is destined to be a loser in due course. It’s great to be up on the winner’s podium. Just don’t imagine you can stay there for ever. Worst of all is being determined to do so, by any means available.

* You can rarely, if ever, please, placate, change, or mollify an asshole. The best thing you can do is stay away from every one you encounter. Being an asshole is a contagious disease. The more time you spend around one, the more likely you are to catch it and become one too.

* Everything takes twice as long as you plan for and produces results about half as good as you hoped. There’s no reason to be downhearted about this. Just allow for it and move on.

* People are oddly consistent. Liars usually tell lies. Cheaters cheat whenever it suits them. A person who confides in you has usually confided in several others first—but not got the response they wanted. A loyal friend will stay loyal under enormous amounts of thoughtless abuse.

* However hard you try, you can’t avoid being yourself. Who else could you be? You can act and pretend, but the person acting and pretending is still you. And if you won’t accept yourself—and do the best you can with what you have—who then has any obligation to accept you?

* When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures. Time spent agonizing over them is time wasted. Even if (miracle of miracles!) yours are honest and accurate, no one else will have been so foolish.

* The loudest noise in the world is the sound of people whining. Don’t add to it.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent articles there on similar topics include Chickens, eggs, and happiness and Why perfection isn’t a viable goal. His latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army.

Warning label

Priceless.

Vox Populi, indeed.

Keith bats it out of the park, again.

Court Bitchslaps Prezdunt Shrub, (from Hindu News, India)

Reveal data on Guantanamo detainees, court tells US

New York, July 22 (PTI): A United States court has ordered the Bush administration to reveal virtually all its information on Guantanamo Bay detainees who are challenging their detention, rejecting an effort by the government to limit disclosures.

The ruling came in one of the main cases relating to the fate of the detainees, effectively setting the stage for new legal battles over the government's reasons for holding the men indefinitely, 'The New York Times' reported yesterday.

It will also set the ground rules for scores of cases by detainees challenging the actions of Pentagon tribunals which decide whether terror suspects should be held as enemy combatants.

About 360 people are currently being detained at the United States naval base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

The court said that meaningful review of the military tribunals would not be possible "without seeing all the evidence, any more than one can tell whether a fraction is more or less than half by looking only at the numerator and not the denominator".

A Justice Department spokesperson, Erik Ablin, however, declined to comment on the decision. "The department is reviewing the decision's implications and evaluating our options," the daily quoted the spokesperson as saying.

Iraq firefight with watermelon

This syncs nicely with Michael Franti, if you got broadband and a good machine, launch "Time to Go Home" at 32 sec. into the LiveLeak vid.

Happy Bastille Day, you fucking Frogs.

That is all, Continue eating your brie.

Hitting his stride, my man Obama has learned to deliver like a preacher and good on him! Good...on...him!

Who would you like to meet?

Had one of those, "If you could hang with anyone for a day" conversations today with a friend at work. The usual brilliant authors and historical luminaries were mentioned, but it got me thinking. Which people from history or contemporary celebrity-dom, living or dead, would I wanna really meet? Here's a partial list,
1. C. M. Kornbluth
2. Gil Scott Heron
3. O. Henry
4. Tom Jefferson (I'd call him "Tom")
5. John Lee Hooker
6. Charlie Chaplin
7. Johnny Depp
8. Hunter S. Thompson
9. Charles Bukowski
10. Lord Byron
11. Judas Iscariot
12. Jim Jarmusch
13. Henry Rollins ...("Don't do the list thing...")

Do the math....

$2,500,000,000,000.00, the looming cost of the war.

67,265, the number of confirmed dead Iraqi civilians as of 07/14/2007, according to the respected Iraq Body Count Project. This number is artificially low, as most Iraqi casualties go unreported. The actual number of dead Iraqi civilians has been estimated at 655,000. As of last October. (Link goes to WP article)

3,613, the number, today, of our sons, daughters, sisters, brothers that have come home in a box.

409 "Civilian" American casualties.

Minimum amount spent by BushCo. to kill just one person,
$3,793,500.07.

Of course, the administration insists that nowhere near that many Iraqis are dead, so let's see how much has been spent per human death according to confirmed casualties.

$35,069,507.80

That's one hell of an expenditure. Can our people come home now please?

RIP Khalid Hassan

July 13 (Bloomberg) -- An Iraqi journalist who had worked for the New York Times as a reporter and translator since 2003 was killed in Baghdad.

Khalid W. Hassan was shot dead as he made his way to work early today in Seiydia neighborhood, the newspaper said in an e- mailed statement.

The 23-year-old was ``a resourceful and brave member of our news team, who met the many professional and personal challenges of his four years on our staff with enduring good humor and optimism,'' the New York Times said.

``Khalid was part of a large, sometimes unsung community of Iraqi news-gatherers, translators, and support staff, who take enormous risks every day to help us comprehend their country's struggle and torment,'' Executive Editor Bill Keller said in the statement. ``To the Times, Khalid was family, and his death is heartbreaking.''

``The circumstances of the attack remain unclear at this time,'' the newspaper said.

Me, Fourth of July. Thanx fer the pics, Charity!

China miffed, who cares?

Headline from Xinhua:
"U.S. detention of Chinese seafood indiscriminate, unacceptable"
That's funny, 'cause
"Chinese definition of seafood indiscriminate, unappetizing"

Think yer tough? Yer not tough.

Missing for a month, Igloolik elder found alive.

"An 81-year-old elder and hunter from Igloolik was found alive Thursday, after four weeks of air and ground searches.

Searchers aboard a Twin Otter airplane spotted Enoki Kunuk near a vast fjord Thursday night.

"We found his kamotiq and snowmobile first, and then we found him beside his tent," Kunuk's son, Mathusalah Kunuk, told CBC News late Thursday....
...Enoki Kunuk left Igloolik on June 1 to embark on a caribou hunting trip about 100 kilometres north of the hamlet. When he hadn't returned home four or five days later as expected, (italics mine, expressing amazement) family and friends began searching for him...
...people in the community began having dreams about the lost elder's whereabouts.

'One particular dream did tell us that he's in a valley, his snowmobile is there,' he said.

'Nobody can see him, and we had flown over that area quite a few times. But this time around we went back to that same area, and sure enough, he's there.'"

Captain America Died Valiantly, But Was Killed by a Coward.

Best... Superhero... Death... Ever.

..."Captain America is dead and buried in the latest issue of Marvel Comics, due on newsstands the morning after Independence Day. After 66 years of battling villains from Adolf Hitler to the Red Skull, the red, white and blue leader of the Avengers was felled by an assassin's bullet on the steps of a New York federal courthouse.

He was headed to court after refusing to sign the government's Superhero Registration Act, a move that would have revealed his true identity. A sniper who fired from a rooftop was captured as police and Captain America's military escort were left to cope with chaos in the streets.

But the sniper didn't act alone, and didn't even fire the shot that killed the captain."

(Excerpt from the AP via Yahoo.)

Could Happen...

Ya know, once, just once, I'd like to see a media representative of an elected official answer with the truth.
"Is the vice-presidents office part of the Executive Branch of government?"
"Well of course it fucking is. He's the Vice-Executive. If my boss is trying to claim he has developed some supernatural, super-constitutional powers, then he is clearly insane and I would have no further desire to work for this god damned whack-job."

Ad Sense

Their voice robot has a speech impediment and a slight Japanese accent.

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch this. That is all.

Just a note, when you are out of beer and money, Makers Mark and Invisible Raspberry Kool-Aid is a poor substitute.

Flowers for Algernon

I loved this book as a kid! (Also loved: One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Sarah T, Portrait of a Teenage Alchoholic, The Martian Chronicles and A Wrinkle in Time.)
Scientists Successfuly Reverse Mental Retardation in Mice

Crowd Control

The Belfast Telegraph talks about the elephants in the room. Us.

"a rational view would be that along with a raft of measures to reduce the footprint per person, the issue of population management must be addressed.
"In practice, of course, it is a bombshell of a topic, with profound and emotive issues of ethics, morality, equity and practicability. So controversial is the subject, that it has become the Cinderella of the great sustainability debate - rarely visible in public, or even in private. In interdisciplinary meetings addressing how the planet functions as an integrated whole, demographers and population specialists are usually notable by their absence."

I'm of the mindset that the problem is what could be called a "self-correcting" one. Unbalanced populations of any species tend to die in large numbers and quickly, when the food runs out. Too bad for the planet we're omnivores.

HA!

"Liz Claiborne unveils new Flat Line"
From some demented comic genius at FARK.
Love those sickos.

New Low for The Court

In a not-so-surprising move, SCOTUS disembowels the Constitution.
Again.
In a perfect storm of insanely ignorant ineptitude, they somehow simultaneously took away a child's right to hold a banner with words on it, yet gave religious terrorists the right to say whatever the fuck they want, anywhere.
To Scalia: "Welcome sir, you look fantastic!!!!!"
(To quote Stephen Colbert, at 13:30 in this video, complete with gestures.)

Allahu Akbar

If you are one of the few, um.... "stupid fucking wastes of flesh" that still support this evil, insane, unjust war of oppression, this links for you. Funny how the kids on the other side are wearing black pajamas, again. Don't forget to click the little arrows at the top left...

Yay

This game is sooooooooo fun, play God and create your own Solar system! Click and drag to launch planets, or use the gravity well of the primary blue planet. I suggest clicking frequently and randomly in a large circle for a true appreciation of how an accretion disc becomes a solar system. Try at high speed, too!

George

Ok, I been listening to a lot of country; as my lying, fake-ass loser heart is broken again... but I gotta admit this song list attributed to George is one of the most appropriate and longest I've ever seen, as Luther Wright and the Wrongs say, "Would ya like to hear George and Tammy sing... again... my friend?"

Johnny Cash

Well I've come here to tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
I'm a tramp and a gambler I stay out late at night
But a porterhouse steak steak three times a day for my board
That's more than any loafer in this old town can afford
Well I got big electric fan to keep me cool while I sleep
A little baby boy playin' rounds at my feet
I'm a rambler and a gambler and I've lead a dirty life
Well I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
Well then I got married I knew I'd settle down
And I built a little love nest right here in my hometown
Now I've got a family one that I'm proud of
I know that I'll be happy cause they're the ones I love
Well I got big electric fan...
I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right
I'm a rambler and a gambler I've led a dirty life
Well I tell you folks I'm ragged but I'm right

Thousand Dollar Wedding

It was a $1000 wedding supposed to be held the other day and
With all the invitations sent
The young bride went away
When the groom saw people passing notes
Not unusual, he might say
But where are the flowers for my baby
I'd even like to see her mean old mama
And why ain't there a funeral, if you're gonna act that way
I hate to tell you how he acted when the news arrived
He took some friends out drinking and
it's lucky they survived
Well, he told them everything there was to
tell there along the way
And he felt so bad when he saw the traces
of old lies still on their faces
So why don't someone here just spike his drink
Why don't you do him in some old way
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day
The Reverend Doctor William James
Was talking to the crowd
All about the sweet child's holy face and
The saints who sung out loud
And he swore the fiercest beasts
could all be put to sleep the same silly way
And where are the flowers for the girl
She only knew she loved the world
And why ain't there one lonely horn and one sad note to play
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day
Supposed to be a funeral
It's been a bad, bad day

-From Gram Parsons "Grievous Angel"
Wait And See Music(BMI)
Warner Brothers Records

Damn interesting story; not just 'cause I'm finally reading The Poisonwood Bible, either.
This sounds like the best language ever.

Drunky? or Junky?
1. William S. Burroughs
2. Charles Bukowski
3. Robert Downey Jr.
4. Dylan Thomas
5. F. Scott Fitzgerald
6. Winston Churchill
7. Ulysses S. Grant
8. Frances Farmer
9. Charlie Parker
10. Lord Byron
To list just a few of my heroes and a heroine.

Good Band

So I met this nice kid Riley through "activities" on Craigslist. He's a good paddler, laid back, like they tend to grow 'em 'round here. We had a sunny outing at Point Whitehorn, complete with a harbor seal on a rock and kelp forests and a pitcher of Mac n Jack's after. Most importantly, he turned me on to this great local band Spoonshine, with a very talented mandolin player. They were playing in B-ham last night, but I had to sleep. Hope to see 'em soon though, their website is here, with some downloadable tracks at a rather low bitrate. Using the EQ in WindowsPlayer helps. My fave is the rather long (at 9:50) "Go Hide the Bottle."

The Five Biggest Pricks in Congress

This is just golden, the author is like a PG RudePundit. From Cracked.com (who knew?)

"A Gallup poll last month put Congress' approval rating at 29 percent, which ties it with the President and puts both exactly two points behind AIDS in terms of popularity. This raises the question: Why does America loathe its elected officials so much?

Forgetting that whole “war” thing for a minute, you could make the argument that it's because most members of Congress are arrogant pricks who would rather toss Rosie O'Donnell's salad after a summer hike than do anything remotely kind, thoughtful or constructive for America. Cracked.com has singled out five of the most stubborn, abrasive, inconsiderate pricks on Capitol Hill that you should be keeping your eye on:" -LINK-

Global Warming Spelled Out 4 U

http://view.break.com/311805 - Watch more free videos

The Stupidity of Corporations and Their Lackeys

From Patricia E. Kafalas Dudek (GREAT name, but nothing compared to the whole name of her firm, Hafeli, Staran, Hallahan, Christ, & Dudek, PC) via Elder Law Answers:

A leading nationwide bank charged its annual service charge to an account just after the account holder, an elderly woman, had died. When the bill was not paid, the bank added late-payment fees and interest charges that increased the bill by $60 in three months.

The following exchange ensued between the deceased woman's great-nephew and the bank:

Nephew: “I am calling to tell you [my great-aunt] died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”

Bank: "Since it is two months past-due, it already has been.”

Nephew: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

Nephew: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Excuse me?”

Nephew: “Did you just get what I was telling you -- the part about her being dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Nephew: “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”

Supervisor: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Nephew: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Supervisor: “[stammer] Are you her lawyer?”

Nephew: “No, I’m her great-nephew.” (Lawyer information is given)

Supervisor: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Nephew: “Sure.” (Fax number is given)

After the bank gets the fax:

Supervisor: “Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

Nephew: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”

Supervisor: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Nephew: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Supervisor: “That might help.”

Nephew: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

Supervisor: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Nephew: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”

This May Actually Turn You Gay

The second most gayest video ever. For any youngsters out there, that's Rock Hudson and Bea Aurthur, singing about... love of drugs. Lots of drugs.

BTW, Here's the first most gayest video ever.

Jacob Holdt

One of my all-time favorite "Americans", (believe you-me he earned it) a Danish- Christian- hippy-tourist... so many reasons to kill, I know, but he's sooooo lovable.

"That I survived I owe to my stubborn belief in these words by Jose Marti:

'You must have faith in the best in people and distrust the worst.
If not, the worst will prevail.'"

Stolen from RudePundit

Photo Summary of Republican "Debate".